


Are You Kidding Me?

by Shleapord



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, Kinda ish, Social Media, YouTube, Youtuber AU, he's still spiderman, i mean two seconds, no beta we die like tony stark, the bitch - Freeform, when i say everybody is here for two seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25342819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shleapord/pseuds/Shleapord
Summary: Suddenly, an explosion rips through the wall. The youtuber, who today was wearing a bucket with eye holes cut out, turned slowly to look at Iron Man.Minijewel: i never thought i would see a bucket look so doneI was chatting with some friends on Discord and we were joking about what if Peter had a Youtube channel but nobody knew it was him and he always wore shitty masks and superheroes were always in the background of his videos but his viewers were in d e n i a l so I wrote this
Comments: 16
Kudos: 230





	Are You Kidding Me?

_what should I name my youtube channel_  
“HEY MISTER GREEN GOBLIN DUDE SIR! WHAT SHOULD I NAME MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL?”  
“ROAAAAARGH”  
“GOOD IDE- OW”

＼（＾○＾）人（＾○＾）／ （＊＾Ｕ＾）人（≧Ｖ≦＊）/

“Peter! Have you seen that new youtube channel? The one who’s name is a keysmash and they post weird videos with crazy masks? They’re getting really popular super quickly, you should check them out!”  
“Uh. Okay I will do that definitely oh look we’re going to be late to class gotta run bye Ned!”

┏(＾0＾)┛┗(＾0＾) ┓ヾ(＠＾▽＾＠)ﾉ

RATING THE TOP TEN DEADPOOL DEATHS THAT I’VE SEEN SO FAR (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Deathlyerin: 4:23 is that daredevil in the background???

Ironman’sleftknee: nice CGI bro how did you get such a realistic deadpool costume?

Jakethedog: this guy’s mask collection must be insane

Mommyandme: you should censor all of that blood, it looks very realistic

Brianadams: i know he uses a different mask every video but a whole ass hazmat suit seems over the top  
Adamandsteve: i think you mean goals

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

(LIVESTREAM)

Miles threw open a portal in a panic. There were twenty Green Goblins running around in Gwen’s verse and they needed every Spiderman on hand to help. “HEY.” He yelled into the other boy’s bedroom. “THERE'S A MULTIVERSE PROBLEM, CAN YOU GET OVER HERE?”

Disasterbi: oh cool how did he manage to do CGI in a livestream

“RIGHT NOW? I’M DOING A LIVESTREAM.”

Disneywhorl: that sounds so scripted like maybe sound a l i t t l e more panicked just a tip

“YES RIGHT NOW, THERE’S TWENTY GREEN GOBLINS IN SPIDERWOMAN’S VERSE.”

Bradthebro: seriously? They’re trying to convince us Spiderman is a woman now? Im calling BS

“FINE, GIVE ME A SEC.”

The 4 million people watching “398fhjsd7”’s live stream saw a person wearing a spiderman mask (“that looks so fake, add more web designs around the forehead”) jump through a portal and disappear. (“is he seriously leaving his livestream?”) A scream, a crash, the sounds of many spiders fighting many Green Goblins for about ten minutes (“this is getting kinda boring ngl it was entertaining for about 5 minutes but you can tell he’s playing a looped soundtrack”) and then a figure crawls back through the portal and sits down.

“Hey guys!” Says a person who is significantly more beaten up and bloody.

Erinstarin: whoever is doing his makeup should work for the film industry like goddamn that looks real

“Sorry about that, a Green Goblin got a hold of a multiverse machine and I had to go fight him and nineteen other hims. Anyways, we were talking about the best Spiderman fails?”

(*・∀・*)人(*・∀・*) ☆d(o⌒∇⌒o)b

HOW TO FIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF WOUNDS (GUEST STAR: DAREDEVIL)

Clairebooknerd: okay but that daredevil costume? 10/10 looks totally real

Applefan: is this person seriously wearing a pumpkin on his head to hide his face because same

Manchair: uhhhh guys 6:27 when the video cuts to black is that the punisher climbing through the window or is that just me  
Blanket: you must be new here

Lochnessmonster: i love how we as a community have decided that A) this guy is REALLY good at CGI or B) he knows every single person in the superhero community and we just. Dont question it. At all.  
Princesspeach: there is nothing to question

ヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ)ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ(ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ ヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ)ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ(ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ

WATCHING THE NUTCRACKER WITH A FRIEND

Shoeboxstan: THAT LOOKS LIKE THE BLACK WIDOW

Colbaltmachete: IS THAT THE BLACK WIDOW

Elliotplays: ARE YOU WITH NATASHA ROMANOFF

Flipflop: honestly? The fact that this person got into the theater with a target bag on his head as a mask is more impressive than the fact that he apparently k n o w s t h e b l a c k w i d o w

ヽ(〃＾▽＾〃)ﾉ （ミ￣ー￣ミ）(─‿‿─)

(LIVESTREAM)

“-and I'm like, 5 right? And my parents just DIE but I'm 5 so I dont know whats going on!”

Purplepeopleeater: okay this story is nuts i call BS

Fishandstuff: are we supposed to believe you? No way can ALL of this be true

Suddenly, an explosion rips through the wall. The person, who today was wearing a bucket with eye holes cut out, turned slowly to look at Iron Man.

Minijewel: i never thought i would see a bucket look so done

“KID! WE NEED YOUR HELP, GET OUT HERE.”

Fandomtrash: is that IRONMAN

“Are you kidding me? Sorry guys, I gotta go. See ya next time!”

Southernblaire: our new hero: bucketman!

Mallorydoll: ALL HAIL  
Southernblaire: ALL HAIL

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ ヾ(＠＾▽＾＠)ﾉ

I DO GYMNASTICS (for about three seconds)

“Hiya everybody, today I’m going to teach you how to do a flip from a handstand. Now, the trick to staying balanced is-”

From another room in the building that the video is being filmed in, there’s an unholy screeching sound, followed by silence. The person, wearing an Iron Man mask, stares at the door for a few seconds.

“ _CLINT!_ ” The camera is picked up, and the person holding it starts walking. “CAN YOU GIVE ME TWO FUCKING MINUTES? I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A VIDEO.” The camera goes blurry with motion, and there’s a _thunk_ followed by a yelp, and then the person holding the camera is running back to the room they came from.

“KID! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHI- WOAH! Okay, thats happening.”

The camera starts moving strangely, as if the person holding it is walking up a wall. There’s a clatter, and a rush of movement, before the lighting goes dark and clanging noises start to sound.

“Sorry about that everyone, Clint broke into my kitchen with some sort of hell-beast again, I had to go deal with that. I’m headed back to my room via the vents, I'll be there… now.” Another blur of motion and the camera focuses on the same room from the start of the video, albeit at a different angle.

“KID!”

Iron Man mask whips around to stare threateningly at the door. “I'M FILMING A VIDEO!”

“Oh shit, sorry.” A man who looks suspiciously like Hawkeye appears in the doorway. “Did I interrupt anything?”

“ _Yes_ Clint, you did, now shoo, shoo, begone with ye.”

Sidneypidgeon: what the heck happened here

Haleydart: HAWKEYE?

Calinstripe: okay but like,,,, how do you do a flip from a handstand tho

Σ(☉ω☉ノ)ノ ( ͡°⁄ ⁄ ͜⁄ ⁄ʖ⁄ ⁄ ͡°) (ﾒ￣▽￣)︻┳═一

HOW TO FIX A BROKEN METAL ARM (FEAT: BUCKY BARNES)

“Hey there everybody, today I come bearing a slightly different video. As you can see (camera pans to show Bucky laying on the couch, with an absolutely mangled metal arm lying on the coffee table) Mr. Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier White Wolf Sir is in need of my assistance.”

“Do you really have to film this, kid?”

“Nobody ever has to do anything ever, Mr. Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier White Wolf Sir.”

A groan. “*Bleep*, stop saying stuff like that when I have a migraine. And take off the paper bag, you look like an idiot”

“Dont say my name!” The person behind the camera gasped dramatically. “And the paper bag is FASHION, excuse you. Hey, don't flip me off, that’s rude.”

A slam. The camera whips over to the door, where a battered looking Steve is standing in the doorway looking panicked.

“Steve! How’s it going?! I’m just going to. Uh.” The video ends.

Capstan: WHAT WHAT WHAT

Handstand: IS THAT C A P T A I N A M E R I C A

Jakethedog: me, seeing everybody freaking out in the comments: you must be new here

Erinstarin: how is it that im just used to seeing random supers pop up in this youtube channel like its Just Another Thing now

Cheeseborger: (edited beyonce meme that now reads “CAPTAIN AMERICA?”)

(=◕ᆽ◕ฺ=) υ´• ﻌ •`υ (\/) (°„°) (\/)

(LIVESTREAM)

“Hey there everybody! I learned some parkour tricks from my pal Daredevil last night so I thought I would show them off in a live stream, let’s go!”

Himboman: did he just say he knows daredevil

Dogdays: i simp for one (1) man and thats daredevil

(heavy breathing) “Wow, it’s much harder to parkour while narrating what I'm doing to you guys. Normally I’m not talking so much when I'm jumping over roo- HEY! DOUBLE D! GET OVE- OW”

JesusChrist: DID DAREDEVIL JUST HIT HIM OFF A BUILDING

There’s a loud noise, like wind rushing by very fast, before the camera cuts to black.

Dogman: IS HE OKAY????

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ (●*∩_∩*●) (◕ω◕✿)

BETRAYAL (DAREDEVIL IDENTITY REVEAL)

“HELLO there everybody. As you might remember, last live stream I got hit off a freaking building by Daredevil. Because I'm salty and also because I no longer have the will to live, I will be announcing his identity in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4- hey there! So you *can* hear me from across the city, you liar- HEY. GET AWAY FROM THE CAMERA. OFF. OW! FUCK YOU. HIS IDENTITY IS MATT MURDOCK GOODBYE OW.”

Civilwar: seriously? Matt murdock? Youre messing with us

Yogamat: booooo. Unoriginal. At least come up with a more creative name

Blackandyellow: you really went and took that lawyer’s name from the media campaign last year and tried to pretend he was daredevil? Again? Why do you people keep trying to pretend hes daredevil?

Kennedybug: poor guy, cant catch a break. Can we get an f for the random lawyer who keeps getting accused of being daredevil  
Foggybear: f  
Caringpages: f

**Author's Note:**

> i meant to post this days ago and then i kept procrastinating so whoops


End file.
